I know I haven’t been posting very much lately. I’ve kind of been a grumpy hermit because I’m so sick and tired of this goddamned six-month Winter we seem to be having this Spring. I mean, cut the crap Mother Nature, you drunken schmuck. This is not acceptable. More snow is looming in the forecast for Wednesday, and I’m almost positive that it will make me cry. Coincidentally, I know of a lovely house for sale in Northern Colorado… 2600 sq. ft., 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, partial custom landscaping, full bar… great house, awesome community. Interested? Hit me up. I’ll make you a smokin’ deal.
Anywho… I digress.
A few weeks ago or maybe a month or so ago, my husband called me while I was at work one day and told me that he wanted to get a Peacock Mantis Shrimp. He’d been at the fish store with his friend who also wanted one of these shrimps, and he was hooked. He said it was a salt water critter and it had to live alone. I said heck to the no. I’m not having an expensive salt water tank for one lowly creature who’s going to be a douche. Let me tell you something… once upon a time we had this jerk fish that my husband bonded with named Jed. Jed was a Flower Horn, and Jed was a jerk. Never mind the fact that the fish made the move with us from California to Colorado, and then several times within the Rocky Mountain state. Jed would kill anything that you put in the tank with him – big or small. That mo fo probably ate $1,000 worth of pretty-to-look-at-fish. Not to mention the hundreds of feeders he ate. Jed would hurdle river rocks at the side of the tank, projectiled from his mouth. Jed would bite me (and oh yes, Jed had teeth) if I had to reach into the tank for any reason. Jed would make swimmy fins and get all happy when John showed up at the tank. Jed would swim in circles around Johns finger the way a cat circles around your legs first thing in the morning. The fudgin’ fish liked to be pet. Just not by yours truly. Me & Jed? Not so much. John & Jed? Best buds. One day the heater in Jed’s tank malfunctioned and he got a little too warm, which lead to his untimely demise. My husband was heartbroken whether he admits it or not and so we haven’t been fish tank peeps since. Fast forward 5 years later after having watched a few hours worth of YouTube videos about these little guys, and the love of my life is scouring Craig’s List for deals on salt-water setups because he will have this shrimp come hell or high water! I was on board, because, well, they’re pretty sweet. Some things to know about a Peacock Mantis Shrimp:
- They’re BEAUTIFUL. They have intense colors, which I adore.
- They have personalities.
- They’re pretty active in their tanks.
- They punch stuff.
- They have the most lethal striking force of any living animal in the world.
- Their punching force matches a .22 being discharged from a gun.
- They’re badasses.
- Here are some cool facts.
My requirements were that we had to A) name it Decker (because they punch so it’s a little obvious, and because Denver Bronco’s, HELLO!!) and that no Nemo fish be put in the tank because I would just feel horrid if something happened to one of them.
John found a little tank on Craig’s List and brought it home. He spent tons of time researching and asking his friend Ray about saltwater setups because he also has one. He got the tank set up and cycling and then he went and got 3 jerk Damsel fish. Those were tester fish that maybe were going to die. Except they didn’t die and now we have these dumb ugly fish. What to do? Name them, naturally. We must name all of the things. So now, we have Erma and Gerd. (Ermahgerd!) and Jimmy-Steve. (You’d catch the reference if you watched Shameless). He had to let the tank cycle and do its thing for a while and last week he ordered Decker. A few hermit crabs joined the gang later in the week. Naturally, we named them, too. We have Concho Villa (because his shell looks like a Conch, duh), Velveta (because his shell looks like a shells & cheese shell and then Tom because that’s what my husband came up with. Tom died a few das in. Or, well, he was murdered after Decker’s arrival is more like it. Here is a video. I was sad at first, but Concho Villa lived. He ate Tom instead. (I’ll have you know that he tried to tell me that Decker was a stupid name – or a lame name I believe is what he said but I didn’t see him coming up with anything better, and plus, Decker is a sweet name!). When Decker’s shipment came in, Decker was M.I.A. My husband, Mr. Instant Gratification was certainly not going to wait another week for his beloved shrimp to show up. He called all over and found one way South of us. He called to tell me he found him, and that he would probably go tomorrow. “Uh huh. Yeah right.” That’s what I told him, because I know better. 10 minutes later my phone rang again and I could hear that I was on speaker in the truck. He was on his way to go get him.
Decker made it home safely last Wednesday. He’s probably about 4″ long or so. He’s pretty colorful and he’s very curious. He seems to be developing quite the personality. We learned that he’ll eat a hermit crab if he’s forced to and that he really enjoys a peppermint shrimp. We’ve got two more of those guys in the tank but they’re just feeders.
I dig the little guy, that’s for sure. I spent quite a bit of time in front of the tank and I catch myself watching him every night more than I watch the TV.
I mean, we have 3 dogs and a cat. Why not throw some fish in the mix, too?
Here’s one more video… just because it’s hysterical to listen to these two guys narrate what’s happening in the tank…. Decker might be a girl, but we call it a he.